Nostalgia week is over...

This week has been filled with so much emotion for me that I could barely stand it.  It all started with the picture that I gave Jill for her birthday.  As I said in my previous post, that picture was just as much of a gift for me as it was for her.  The first 3 or 4 days were great.  I couldn't keep my eyes and hands off of her.  I just wanted to be near her and touch her because "it was her."  The other days, I still wanted to be near her and still wanted to touch her, but the emotional high that I was on came crashing down on me.  My emotions just started being...well...they were just BLAH.  I noticed some sadness, irritability, anger, etc.  Several months ago, I had an encounter with these very same emotions and some of their friends.  That was not a pleasant time for me.  Perhaps at another time, I will share that encounter.  I never want to go through that again and I became very apprehensive to even get near these emotions for fear this problem would come back again for fear that it would open that door and let those emotions control me again.  And, with God's help, I have been able to avoid any circumstances that would open that ugly door.  However, when I take God out of the equation and try to handle it on my own...well, I get to where I am currently...well, where I was.  Jill was very in tune to how I carried myself and confronted me on it.  I'm glad that she did.

Last night, I wasn't feeling very spunky.  I just felt like I was in a pretty big funk.  Jill and I put in our wedding video and watched our reception.  Other than some drunk folks in charge of the camera, it was enjoyable to watch and brought back a lot of great memories.  Unfortunately, it also brought along sadness.  In that tape, there were 5 people that are no longer with us, my dad included.  Seeing him speak on that tape brought tears to my eyes.  What's worse is during the dollar dance, he was the last one to dance with me.  The way that he came up and grabbed me and hugged on me flooded my face with tears.  I miss him very much and just wish that I could talk to him again.  My dad had some unsavory qualities but he also had some great qualities.  He had a charming smile, a great sense of humor and a great laugh.  Thankfully, the video ended soon after the tears dried up.  Jill and I decided that nostalgia week had to be over.

Today was a decent day.  We drove to Ft. Wayne for the home-schooler's convention.  The drive there was nice and for about an hour inside the Coliseum, it was somewhat enjoyable.  The first thing my math-wizard son did was try to figure out the area of the convention center that we were in.  We came up to about 15,300 square feet.  Shortly after that, we went to lunch and had a nice time.  After lunch, we dropped Jill off at the convention and the kids and I decided to try and hit the zoo.  Unfortunately, everybody else in Ft. Wayne decided to do the same thing, so we skipped it.  Zach decided that he wanted to go to the mall there and look at things.  So we did.  During this time, I started to sense some irritability.  People in front of me were walking so slow, it was all I could do not to push them out of my way.  Not to mention, there was a bunch of stupid Ohio State junk all over the place.  Aren't the people in Ft. Wayne aware that Ann Arbor is closer than Columbus, OH??  Well, shortly after being at the mall, Jill called and said that she was ready to go home.  We picked her up and headed home.  After being at home for a while, Jill and I got to spend some time together and just being held by her made my feelings of irritability melt away.

Here's to the start of a new week and letting God be in control.