After having such a GREAT Friday evening, how on EARTH did I allow myself to fall into a funk?? Saturday and Sunday, I was feeling the same negative emotions that just about did me in over 7 months ago. I had feelings of judgment, anger, loneliness and escapism. I just wanted to be by myself wallowing in my feelings. Why is it that I didn’t see this coming? I have already been through this and now I’m letting it happen again. I didn’t once think that God wasn’t with me. Of course, I also didn’t feel as if I was holding Him at arm’s length, but apparently I was. How is it possible that I became blind to what was going on around me? To pass the time and get my mind off of it, I did yard work. All day, I was able to not dwell on these emotions. However, that never heals it, but rather suppresses it. And when it comes back, it doubles in its strength, making it harder to deal with.

At church this morning, I wasn't feeling it. I didn't feel like worshiping as I have in the past with arms raised and just feeling His presence. Instead, I stood there with my hands in my pockets and sang the words. Jill said to me after the service that she just really felt as if something was affecting the both of us. When she got home, she went through the house reading scriptures to clear the house of any negative energies. It's awesome how that works. You could just feel the negative energy dissipate. Before she did that, I had no desire to go to the Prayer and Song service this evening. Afterwards, I knew that I needed go and I am so glad I did. I could feel the presence of God there! He lifted my spirits and, again, pulled me from the deep end.

Thank you God...You are always there to pick me up and get me back on the path.